Business Writing Basics (Lesson 6)

In writing for business there are more points to be noted. First, you need to avoid redundancy or use of unnecessary words and phrases. For egs:

• Signing both copies of the document is a necessary requirement
• Signing both copies of the document is necessary

• Combine both the chemicals together
• Combine both chemicals

A requirement is necessary by definition and both means together. Some redundancies are humorous: "Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined". A psychiatrist examines nothing but one's head. Try this for laughs: "We are open seven days a week including weekends". It is unnecessary to say advance planning when just planning will suffice or for that matter basic fundamentals or past history or repeat again.

Next avoid wordy expressions. Although wordy expressions are not necessarily errors, they slow down the pace of communication and make understanding complex. Try and substitute one word for a long phrase. For egs:

• In view of the fact that the prototype failed twice during the time we tested it, we are at this point searching for other options. (25 words)
• As the prototype failed twice, we are now searching for other options. (12 words)

Lard factor is the percentage of words saved by getting rid of the lard. In the above example the lard factor is 25-12=13; (13/25x100)=52%. Which means that we have used 52% less words in the second sentence.

Also avoid hidden verbs. A verb as we all know is an action word in a sentence that provides interest and forward movement. A hidden verb is a verb that has been converted into a noun thereby weakening its affect. For egs:

• The Head of the department said that he give consideration to my request for leave.
• The head of the department said he will consider my request for leave.

Notice that the second sentence is shorter and has more affect due to the use of a true verb--consider.

Here are some other examples of hidden verbs:

1. Arrived at the conclusion (Concluded)
2. Has a requirement for (Requires)
3. Came to an agreement (agreed)
4. Held a meeting(Met)

Avoid hidden subjects. Subject should stand out in a sentence and not be obscured by expletives. Expletives are expressions like "It is" and "there is" which the sentence begins with. For egs:

• There was no indication that it was necessary to include Sumita in the team
• There was no indication that Sumita should be included in the team

Imply or condense. It is unnecessary to state everything. Use adjectives and adverbs to imply and condense. For egs:

• This brochure which is free of charge and will give you all info.
• This free brochure will give all info.

Use positive language. For egs:

• We cannot ship the merchandise till we receive your payment.
• We will ship the merchandise when we receive your payment.

Cannot and Will not are not the only negative words. Mistake, damage, refuse, failure and the like are also negative words. For egs:

• We close at 8 pm on Fridays
• We are open until 8 pm on Fridays to enable you to shop after work.

Sometimes shifting to a subjunctive mood helps reduce to negative impact of an word. For egs:

• I cannot speak German.
• I wish I were able to speak German so that I could converse with you.
• I cannot release the names of the clients.
• Releasing the names of the clients would violate their right to privacy.