The thin line between communicating effectively, and insinuating people....

Long before human communication turned into a science, it was an art. Eons earlier.

As with all arts, communication is full of nuances. The line between being effective in communication and enraging people is thin indeed. Once breached, the message sender loses something valuable- trust, respect. And once lost, they are seldom salvaged.

In my experiments for the last 21 years, I have learnt the following painful lessons out of erring constantly:

1. Whether the receiver is known or unknown to me, I need to show respect in all forms of communication-written, spoken, non-verbal
2. If I want to be heard, I don't need to yell, I can be soft...yet assertive
3. My point-of-view is of less value compared to the feedback I get 
4. In all transactions, I should aim to build trust and lasting relationships
5. Humor is powerful. It melts the hardest of hearts. But if misused or over-used, it's dangerous
6. Thumb rule for criticism: blame the System, not individuals
7. Never ask a question or pose a problem without a basic solution for it in my mind
8. Never should I show-off my literary prowess in messages. People are quite aware these days..everybody is good in English, Kannada, Hindi
9. I need to be appropriate in presentation. Propriety is everything
10. Credibility is like virginity. Once lost, it's never regained
11. My tone and tenor should be humble, requesting. No one likes to be ordered around. 'Please' is the most powerful word in English
12. I need to listen lots more. Through empathetic listening I communicate 1000 times better than talking non-stop.

Business Writing Basics (Lesson 6)

In writing for business there are more points to be noted. First, you need to avoid redundancy or use of unnecessary words and phrases. For egs:

• Signing both copies of the document is a necessary requirement
• Signing both copies of the document is necessary

• Combine both the chemicals together
• Combine both chemicals

A requirement is necessary by definition and both means together. Some redundancies are humorous: "Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined". A psychiatrist examines nothing but one's head. Try this for laughs: "We are open seven days a week including weekends". It is unnecessary to say advance planning when just planning will suffice or for that matter basic fundamentals or past history or repeat again.

Next avoid wordy expressions. Although wordy expressions are not necessarily errors, they slow down the pace of communication and make understanding complex. Try and substitute one word for a long phrase. For egs:

• In view of the fact that the prototype failed twice during the time we tested it, we are at this point searching for other options. (25 words)
• As the prototype failed twice, we are now searching for other options. (12 words)

Lard factor is the percentage of words saved by getting rid of the lard. In the above example the lard factor is 25-12=13; (13/25x100)=52%. Which means that we have used 52% less words in the second sentence.

Also avoid hidden verbs. A verb as we all know is an action word in a sentence that provides interest and forward movement. A hidden verb is a verb that has been converted into a noun thereby weakening its affect. For egs:

• The Head of the department said that he give consideration to my request for leave.
• The head of the department said he will consider my request for leave.

Notice that the second sentence is shorter and has more affect due to the use of a true verb--consider.

Here are some other examples of hidden verbs:

1. Arrived at the conclusion (Concluded)
2. Has a requirement for (Requires)
3. Came to an agreement (agreed)
4. Held a meeting(Met)

Avoid hidden subjects. Subject should stand out in a sentence and not be obscured by expletives. Expletives are expressions like "It is" and "there is" which the sentence begins with. For egs:

• There was no indication that it was necessary to include Sumita in the team
• There was no indication that Sumita should be included in the team

Imply or condense. It is unnecessary to state everything. Use adjectives and adverbs to imply and condense. For egs:

• This brochure which is free of charge and will give you all info.
• This free brochure will give all info.

Use positive language. For egs:

• We cannot ship the merchandise till we receive your payment.
• We will ship the merchandise when we receive your payment.

Cannot and Will not are not the only negative words. Mistake, damage, refuse, failure and the like are also negative words. For egs:

• We close at 8 pm on Fridays
• We are open until 8 pm on Fridays to enable you to shop after work.

Sometimes shifting to a subjunctive mood helps reduce to negative impact of an word. For egs:

• I cannot speak German.
• I wish I were able to speak German so that I could converse with you.
• I cannot release the names of the clients.
• Releasing the names of the clients would violate their right to privacy.

Business Writing Basics (Lesson 5)

Style is perhaps the most important aspect of Business writing. Style refers to effectiveness in the usage of words, paragraphs, sentences and overall tone of the message.

Words: Write them clearly. Prefer short simple words. Write with vigor. Write concisely. Prefer positive words to negative ones.
Sentences: Use a variety of sentences. Use active and passive voice appropriately.
Paragraphs: Keep paragraphs unified and coherent. Use parallel structure. Control para length.
Overall tone:Write confidently. Use courteous and sincere tone. Use appropriate emphasis and subordination. Use non-discriminatory language. Stress the 'you' attitude. Design your documents for readability.

Writing clearly: Be accurate. Be complete. Use familiar words. Avoid dangling expressions with misplaced modifiers and unclear antecedents.
For egs: Dr Mashalti gave a presentation of use of drugs in the auditorium (Were drugs used in the auditorium?).
Rather>>> Dr Mashalti gave a presentation in the auditorium on the use of drugs.
For egs: Sheela explained the proposal to Meena, she was not happy with it. (Who was not happy - Sheela or Meena?)
Rather>>> Sheela explained the proposal to Meena but Meena was not happy with it.

Prefer short, simple words: Here is a list of complex words and their short, simple alternatives:-

1. Endeavour>>>Try
2. Enumerate>>>List
3. Ascertain>>>Learn
4. Fluctuate>>>Vary
5. Indispensable>>>Vital
6. Initiate>>>Start
7. Modification>>>Change
8. Recapitulate>>>Review
9. Substantial>>>Large
10. Termination>>>End
11. Utilization>>>Use

The tip is : ''Write as you speak".

Write with Vigor: Use specific, concrete language.

For egs:

The vehicle broke down many times recently (vague?).

The pick up truck broke down 3 times this week (better?).

Avoid slang, cliches and buzz words: Slang is an expression, often short-lived, that is identified with a specific group of people. Not many in India understand American slang. Some examples of the slang are:

• Chewing one's head (Bothering with continuous small talk)
• Pay through your nose (pay a lot for something)
• Hate one's guts (Feel jealous of one's fearlessness)
• Zonked out (Pass out due to exhaustion)
• Hit off well (Get along famously with one another)

A cliche' is a word or a phrase that has lost its charm due to overuse. Some egs:

• For your information
• Further to our telecon
• Please be advised that
• Needless to say
• Last but not the least

A buzz word is an important sounding word used with the sole purpose of impressing people. Some egs:

• Paradigm shift
• Impact
• Interface
• Bottom line
• Vision statement
• User-friendly
• Ball park figure.

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Business Meetings (Lesson 4)

Much of the talking and listening in business place will be in the context of meetings. Business meetings provide cohesiveness and unity of purpose. They help in resolving issues and making decisions. They also help in informing the group members of their duties and tasks. Over 20 million meetings take place in America each day. An average executive spends an average 3 hours a work day in meetings according to a MCI WorldCom Conferencing research. No wonder office goers complain "Meetingitis" has become a plague in the USA -- an occasion for a group of people to take minutes and waste hours. But this happens in the absence of managerial skill. It happens when a meeting begins and closes without an agenda set in advance. Your ability as a manager is judged by how you run a meeting.

Planning the meeting

Identifying your purpose: The more focused your purpose, the more effective the meeting. "Making communication more effective among executives" is a vague agenda. "Should we buy cell phones for all executives?" is a better agenda to meet. But first decide if you NEED to meet. If only two people are going to participate in the meeting then a call or a mail will suffice. It saves cost and time.
Preparing an agenda: Remember to write down the agenda and circulate it well in advance. An agenda or a list of topics to discuss in the meeting helps you prepare for the discussion and stay focused on the plan and course of the meeting. Typically and agenda reads like this:

1. Call to order
2. Roll call
3. Reading and approving minutes of the previous meeting
4. Reports of officers of standing committees
5. Reports of special committees
6. Old business
7. New business
8. Announcements
9. Program
10. Adjournment

Each topic could have a sub-agenda. For eg: New Business-- (1) November press conference (2) Purchase of laptops for senior management (3) Status of remodeling -- Anushka Ravishankar

Everyone at a meeting should have specific reason for being there. All those who can contribute to the resolution of the meeting HAVE to attend. But it is better to keep the numbers small and manageable. Also plan the logistics well. A three hour meeting in uncomfortable chairs in a stuffy room with no air-conditioning may exhaust the members physically and mentally. Punctuality has to be stressed- meetings should begin and end on time. This conveys the message to chronic late comers that decisions will be taken in their absence if they are late. Stick to the agenda as far as possible. But to allow any discussion not on the agenda is prerogative of the leader. It would be wise to allow such discussions if they are directly related to resolution of the problem at hand.

Leading the meeting: Begin the meeting with a statement of purpose and agenda overview. As it progresses, keep time. Encourage quiet members to speak and stop those who ramble with --" I see your point. Now lets move on to the next item". If time permits strategies like brainstorming and role playing could be employed to reach a solution. But for most topics a simple discussion would suffice. To resolve a conflict, state the facts first and diffuse the tension. Then ensure that everyone who is arguing is heard and his position is understood. At the end, summarize what was decided, what are the next steps. Review the assignments to various members. Get an assistant to keep the minutes and circulate it after the meeting. The minutes should be recorded with bias (simply who said what). Every motion has to be seconded and voted for either through a secret ballot or a show of hands. Ensure that the conduct of the meeting follows procedure and decorum. Bickering and philibustering (not allowing others to speak by endlessly rambling on and on and wasting precious time) should be dealt with a admonishment immediately.

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Communicating in work teams (Lesson 3)

A team is a group of individuals who depend on each other and work to achieve a common goal. Teams are often superior to individuals as they are more creative, have more information and more interpersonal communication dynamics. A team's contribution often exceeds the sum of the individuals contribution in a business environment. However there is a danger of teams wasting time through 'social loafing' or avoiding individual responsibilities on the pretext that someone else in the group will do it.
Variables of group communication: Conflict, conformity and consensus are the three variables of group dynamics.
Conflict is generally misunderstood as a deterrent and counterproductive in group behaviour. However, conflict is an essential part of team dynamics and call resolve issues through debates and testing of ideas before they are implemented. Every one's point of view is to be heard before consensus is reached. If the group does not exhibit conflict there is very little use for them to be together, they may as well achieve individually.
Conformity is agreement with regard to rules, ideas and principles. Members can disagree on issues but there has to be conformity on fundamental principles as to how the group should operate. Though cohesiveness and conformity are a must for group dynamics, too much of stress on unity can result in what is called Groupthink which is a communication barrier resulting in the stifling of ideas and opposing points of view which enrich the body of information that the group produces. The pressure to unite may become so great that negative information is not discussed and questioned. Thus the group loses perspectives arising out of conflict. Conflict therefore is a pre-requisite to collaboration.
Consensus means reaching a solution acceptable to all in the group, that which best reflects the thinking of all the members. Consensus should be supported by all members. Consensus is not a majority vote or even a unanimous vote it is the collective thinking of the group. Productivity of the group is the highest at the point where conformity peaks and falls as the Groupthink increases.
Feedback: Giving feedback is essential to any group process. When giving feedback some points are to be noted: (a) It should always be constructive (b) Give both positive and negative feedback. People assume that feedback is given only when problems arise. This is not true. Positive feedback helps inspire and encourage team performance. In learning how to give feedback note these two aspects:

• Be descriptive. Relate objectively what you saw and heard. More recent the better and be specific.
• Avoid using labels. Words like undependable, unprofessional, irresponsible are labels we attach to behaviours. Drop the label and describe the behaviour itself. Whenever feedback is given pause for the receiver to respond. Let there be a discussion rather than a discourse.
• Don't exaggerate. Don't say things like you are "always" late for meetings. This maybe untrue and unfair.
• Speak for yourself. Don't speak for anyone else and don't refer to absent persons.
• Use "I" statements. Instead of saying " You are late for meetings"; say -- " I get annoyed when you are late". "I" statements create an adult-peer relationship.

To minimise conflict in a group that is not productive. The group has to mingle before the meeting and members should get to know each other personally so that they can support each other's point of view objectively and oppose without fear. Consider each problem as a group problem -don't make a scapegoat of one member. For eg: " We would be done with meeting if Rekha had finished her task in time". Rarely is a single member responsible for the failure of a group process. As every role is a function of the individual personality and the group personality, thinking in terms of the group is a must for resolution of conflict. While making comments be realistic and goal-oriented, factual and constructive. When the atmosphere becomes tense diffuse the tension with a light-hearted comment or a joke. Restore harmony in a fighting group as soon as possible. Discussing is not the same as arguing.

There is an ethical dimension to accepting membership to a team. The team's needs, aspirations, goals and gain are put before personal gain. The attitude should be-- "I don't care who gets the credit as long as we achieve our team goal together". Finally each member has the duty to promote the team's welfare. "One for all and all for one" is the motto. However this varies much in different cultures. In the USA and Canada individual achievements are put before group achievements. This sometimes creates competition and bickering. In Japan however " a standing nail is hammered down". Meaning group consensus is a must for all action. Japanese insist that a majority consensus is not enough. Every member of the group HAS to agree before action is initiated. This takes time and effort.

Finally there are 4 strategies for communicating effectively in a group:

1. Maintain formality
2. Show respect
3. Communicate clearly (avoid slang, jargon)
4. Value diversity

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Barriers to Communication and Miscommunication (Lesson 2)

There are several barriers to communication. They are:

Verbal

1. Inadequate knowledge or vocabulary
2. Differences in interpretation
3. Language differences
4. Inappropriate use of expressions
5. Overabstraction or ambiguity
6. Polarization

Non-verbal

1. Inappropriate or conflicting signals
2. Differences in perception
3. Inappropriate emotions
4. Physical distractions

The 3 Ps Model of Communication: The 3Ps are Problem, Process, Product. Often in any business context there is a problem faced by the executive which has to be considered carefully and a process defined to solve it. What emerges from the process is the product. Take the following case of DriveFair Auto:

Problem: You are the Dealer Relations Manager at the DriveFair Auto North America. A dealer in the midwest calls and yells continuously on the phone that he has been treated rudely by the Indian Office in Delhi. You doubt that your Indian counterparts have been rude on purpose. It is your task to ensure smooth dealer relations. What would you do?

Process: The process of examining the problem is as such- you ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is the problem your are facing in this situation?
2. What verbal and non-verbal barriers to communication seem to be operating here?
3. What options do you see for resolving the problem?
4. What are the criteria for determining the best possible solution?
5. Using this criteria evaluate your options and identify the best one.

Product: Implementing the best option- the opening statement that you make to the dealer is it.

The problem is that the dealer is enraged with a possible rude treatment shown to him by the Indian staff. He needs to be heard and placated. This situation could have come about by verbal barriers such as language differences in the knowledge and the accent of English of the Indian operative, disturbances in the overseas call that could have resulted in misunderstanding or termination of the call itself before the conversation is completed. All this could have led to different perceptions at either end-- the dealer thinking that the Indian is mannerless and the Indian assuming that the American had been answered fully. Now the options that are before you to resolve this issue are:

• To call the dealer and listen to his complaint without bias. Then explain to him how language and accent differences can cause misunderstanding. And assure him that his grouse will be attended to by someone who can understand and speak American English. That the Indian employee may not have been rude on purpose, only incapable of following the request made by the dealer.
• To ignore the dealer's complaint. After all it is a waste of time trying to convince someone who cannot understand Indian English doing business with the Indian arm of the company.
• To call the executive in Delhi who took the dealer's call and blast him for ineptness and ignorance.
• Call the dealer and chastise him for making a big fuss over nothing.

Among the above options the best one is obviously the first and worst the last. As dealer relations manger you job is to handle the dealer's ire with diplomacy and NOT fire him in return. Hence the product would be a call such as the one described in the first option or a letter that states:

Dear Sir,

We at DriveFair believe in courtesy towards dealers above all and would not treat any violation in this regard by our staff in any of our offices with any leniance. However in your case there has been misunderstanding and not a misdemeanour by our Indian operative. Differences in accent and the knowledge of the English language seems to have brought about this situation wherein you have felt insulted by the improper use of the language by the Indian employee while the latter has assumed that he has been successful in making you perceive his message fully and appropriately. Besides disturbances in the overseas call have led to further misperception of the issue.

We sincerely apologize for the gaps in comprehension at our end and have despatched our American staff to your office for you to deal with someone who understands you American English. Again we are sorry for the inconvenience caused to you and assure you that our representative who is visiting you shortly will be able to address all your concerns.

Thanks for your understanding,

Sincerely yours,

Anne Margie Hathway,

Dealer Relations Manager

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What is communication ? (Lesson 1)

In order to learn Business Communication one must first understand Communication itself. Communication is defined as an exchange of information, knowledge, ideas etc between two individuals using a common set of symbols. Communication is also defined in other ways: Communicaton is the process of sending and receiving messages -- sometimes through spoken and written words and sometimes thrrough non-verbal means such as facial expression, gestures and voice qualities.
The communication model consists of 5 components:
Stimulus>>filter>>message>>medium>>destination.
The stimulus is an event that occurs to create the need for the individual to communicate. The filter is the unique perception of reality of the communicator -- his set of values, culture, emotions at that moment, personality, knowledge, socio-economic status and a host of other variables. The message is the information communicated - the content of it and the medium is the channel through which it is sent and received. The destination is the receiver/s of the message.
According to Marshall Macluhan -- "The medium is the message". He says that the medium you use to convey the message determines the form of the message and also becomes a part of it.
If you were to invite a business acquantaince to dinner, what medium would you choose -- the phone of course. You would call. When you do, the message is a voice message, it is a conversation. If you were to write an a email, it would be a written message, a permanent record. Hence it is medium which identifies the form of the message and becomes the message itself.
Communication can be oral or written. Written communication in a business context are typically email, website, memos, letters, instructions, reports and proposals. Communication can also be formal or informal. Informal communication in an office is often referred to as Grapevine. Communication can move vertically i.e up and down the organizational hierarchy or horizontally (among peers).
Overcoming information anxiety: Richard Wurman believes that the more choices one makes the more the anxiety of having made the wrong one. This he calls Information Anxiety. Consider this: the total amount of information produced worldwide each year is 1.5 exabytes (one exabyte is 1 followed by 18 zeroes). If all this info was stored on floppies it would stack 2 million miles high! Do you we need all this information? Definitely not! Nobody knows it all. The first step in overcoming information anxiety is to accept that there is much you wouldn't understand. Let your igonorance be an inspiration to learn, not something to conceal.
Wurman recommends practising standing in front of a mirror and saying " Could you repeat that" or " I am not sure I understand what you are talking about" instead of just nodding and pretending you understood what you have not.
By seperating what you need to know from what you merely think you should be knowing eases the anxiety. Minimise watching and reading what you don't need. Do what Wurman says : "Most information is useless; give yourself permission to dismiss it".
Happy communicating !!

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